Still Reevaluating...

Frustrated with so many things...My unfinished bathroom, Dylan having to live in our family room (we really need a couch), and problems with friends. I am using my blog to vent and reevaluate...does anyone ever feel like that?

Some of you know the story of Heather...that I worked for her for several years and when I quit, we did not part well. Our friendship had been struggling, but towards the end we were both feeling like all we did was give and the other person just took. I understand I probably wasn't the best friend to be around. I am not sure how she feels. I don't think she knows how much she hurt my feelings or that she even did anything wrong. So I moved on. Along with all the changes in my life that I have already blogged, I also wanted to change my relationships with others. I want to surround myself with people who are uplifting and caring and supportive. I need friendships that I don't have to defend to others or to myself. I am ready for something different. I have been so happy with my decisions so far. My family life has never been happier! My relationship with God is growing.

But I just got some horrible news...Heather's daughter Lillie has bone cancer in her knee. (She is Emily's age and friend). I am so heartbroken for them. I love Heather's children so much and I don't want to see their family go through this. How devastating! I have tried reaching out to Heather, knowing how hard this must be for her, but I guess it is too late to repair the past. I am praying for them and sending them the best of wishes. I wish things were different...

News like this always makes me appreciate my family and their health. I am so grateful for the blessings in my life. I am heartsick for my dear friend, whom I still care about, but know our friendship is not a good one. Please pray for sweet Lillie, I am sure she needs all the support she can get.

So how am I reevaluating? I am looking at what kind of a person I am, who I want to be, what kind of friend I want to be and how fragile life is. When my sister was my age, she only had 4 more years to live. If I knew I only had 4 more years, what would I do with that time? Who would I want to be at the end of it? If I could do it all again, I would do it differently...I don't want to say that anymore. Just some things to think about...