29 vs. 39

I just celebrated my 39th birthday.  As a birthday present, the DMV required me to renew my driver license in person.  Luckily, it was not as painful as it sounds AND it was time to update the picture.  It is interesting to me that we (my generation) spend so much time crying about getting older.  I have to admit, I was not thrilled to be approaching my last year in my 3o's.  40 really sounds old!  What is funny to me about turning 40 is that I NEVER thought I would get that old!  
But as I study these pictures, I laugh.  The first picture reflects me in my 20's.  Pregnant with Matthew in that picture with 3 year old Emily standing by my feet while I took the picture.  I liked my 20's because I loved being a mom and having babies, graduating from college and raising a young family.  But so far, I have LOVED my 30's and I am sad to see them go....

Around 35, I started re-figuring out my life.  Matthew was starting kindergarten and all my kids were going to be in school.  My dream job was coming to an end (stay-at-home-mom) and I had to decide what I wanted to do with my future.  Well, I still don't know, because my life still revolves around my very busy children (but upon reflection, I have come up with some "life lessons").  A misconception:  life with children does not become easier when they are all in school! 

I have definitely figured out some things I wish I knew in my 20's...so I thought I would blog them.  (I will give only the G-rated version though, since my kids read this...for other insights, you will have to get those from me via email, phone, or in person).  I know I have come to love myself for who I am, quirks and all.  I know I look better than when I was in my 20's (but to be fair, didn't everyone look horrible in the 90's?) I love my life and my family.  My husband and I are a great team and although life is hard and marriage is hard (19 years!), it is better when you are in it together.

I love my body!  It is not perfect...I have birthed 4 children!  But I have watched my sister and a good friend pass away from breast cancer which has made me appreciate my health and my body for what it is.  I try to treat it with the respect it deserves because it is with me for a long time.  (And from what I hear, once you hit 40, it is all downhill from there!)

I don't always have to be in control, whining or bitchy.  I am finding that I am happier when I am sweet and loving.  (Some of you may know I have not perfected this, but old habits die hard and when I am PMSing all bets are off!)  I am trying to treat everyone with kindness, and mostly it works out in my favor.  If it doesn't, oh well...as my sister would say, more good karma for me!  This "life lesson" is mostly reflected in my relationship with my husband.  He may not do it the way I would do it, but he gets it done (no more control).  And the more I give to him, it seems like he gives back to me tenfold.  Over the years I have learned a lot from him, but one thing that I love about him is how he is happy even when things really suck!

And about whining...does it ever help the situation?  No, it just makes you annoying to everyone around you.  Although a good healthy dose of whining about year-round school helps me keep my sanity!  I keep a few vices.

I need to tell people in my life that I love them more.  I always tell my kids and my husband, but not my friends and family as much.  I didn't tell my sister, LeAnn, enough.  So, to all my friends and family...mom and dad...brothers and sister...(in-laws, nieces and nephews...)I love you.  Thanks for being in my life. Thanks for your love and support.  

Here's to the best year so far!  Turning 39...so ready or not, 40, here I come!