Dear Dr. Laura
My husband and I have been long-time listeners and have read several of your books. We are so grateful for your advice. We have a wonderful marriage because of you! I appreciate your support for at-home-moms and love hearing from women who have made the change to stay home with their kids. You did not influence me though; I have to admit…I have to give that credit to my mother. She stayed at home with my 6 siblings and me for over 30 years (There is a 22 year age difference between the oldest and the youngest). She has always been such a great example to me. She fell out of a tree at the age of 12 and broke both of her legs and her back. She was in traction for 6 months and had to learn to walk again. She proceeded to graduate from college, marry and have 8 children (she lost a 2 month old baby). She was a stay-at-home mom for all those years, teaching us how to take care of the home, garden, sew, cook, etc. As she sat next to me during my son’s graduation, I looked at her hands. At first I thought how old they looked and how she has lost partial use of them. And then I saw how much her hands have accomplished through the years, how she nurtured her babies and grandbabies. How she used to be so strong and could open any jar. I saw her tender touches and firm scoldings. I learned how to be a mom from her. But I can’t forget to mention my dad and how hard he worked for us. They were a great team. My parents have given us a tremendous amount of support through the years as we raise our family.
I have loved being a stay-at-home mom for 18 years to my 4 children! My oldest just graduated from high school and I have been thinking a lot about the decisions my husband and I have made together in the past 18 years. We have made many sacrifices to be a team and make our family the number one priority. My husband has worked hard to provide for us so I could stay home with our children. We live in a smaller home, but one that we can afford easily. We don’t go on luxury vacations, but choose take our kids snow skiing and boating instead. We eat dinner together as a family, eating nutritious homemade meals instead of going out to dinner. We take our children to church on Sundays instead of the movies.
The other day, my son and I had fun as we went through the family scrapbooks and talked about his life growing up. (Well, I was trying not to cry and hide the sniffles) We talked about so many of the fun things we did as a family. He is 18 now and I am thrilled to say he is a great MAN who is willing to work hard, cares about helping others, and also happens to be smart and good-looking. He is leaving for college knowing that he cannot be serious about a woman for a long time, and who is not willing to read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”!
I am sad to say that my job is done, but I have NO REGRETS! I do not wish I worked outside the home so that we could have a bigger house, or he could have better clothes, etc. I got to see him take his first steps, say his first words, lose his first tooth, make the baseball team and kiss his head when he was sick or hurt. I was always there for him. I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything! I can look at his life and know that we gave him the best so that he could be the best! (whew! One down, 3 to go!)
Some people say that women are not ambitious and I have to disagree. The definition of ambition is “the strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work”. I would say that defines a stay-at-home mom! I had a strong desire to raise 4 wonderful children to become useful members of society and I know I have accomplished that (with at least one so far). I was determined to learn how to economize, make healthy food on a small budget, recover furniture, and even drywall so that we could have a beautiful home and family on my husband’s salary. And we worked hard! It wasn’t always easy, but it was worth every sacrifice we made to hear my 18-year-old son tell me he had a great childhood! Thanks Dr. Laura for your support and advice. You are amazing. Oh, and by the way, I AM my kids’ mom AND my husband’s GIRLFRIEND!
Love, Caroline
